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This week my mama got a little sneaky. My birthday was Friday, and since she lives some 250 miles away, she called my partner Ryan to task him with a family tradition.
Growing up, my nose was coated in butter within an hour of waking up on October 26. Mama got me while I was still groggy and stumbling around our apartment with sleep in my eyes. She'd sneak up behind me with a generous dab of butter--usually Kroger's Cost Cutter brand. It would be balanced on her index finger, threatening to slide off and drop to the floor. She'd hug me from behind, and while she had me in her grip, she'd reach for my nose and smear me good.
As a kid, I thought it was funny. As a teen, I worried that the grease would cause a break out. These days, I'd pay good money to have Mama here, spreading a dollop of butter across my face. It was a sweet custom, but with family living far off, it's one that I never expect to be upheld.
Now, Ryan was great on my birthday. He bought me a vanilla/vanilla cake, which is a favorite; he gave me a card addressed from him and our dog; and he told me that we could go wherever I wanted for dinner. I opted for chinese delivery so I could eat in my PJs with my pup at my feet. The day came and went without a molecule of butter touching my nose, but I didn't know the difference.
I went to bed thinking that my birthday was a hit, and got up Saturday to run errands. That's when mama called. I was biking around town, and pulled over. I'd barely said hello before she asked, "Now, did Ryan give you something special?"
I told her about the dinner and described the front of the card--a pug wearing a birthday hat. She mmm-hmmed and awwwwed and waited, clearly expecting more. Since there was nothing left to tell, I started to change the subject, to ask about her cats, but she stopped me cold.
"Woah. Now wait. Is that all?"
Thinking she was about to come down on my partner's gift giving skills, I went on the defense. "That was plenty, Mama," I said, "The cake was really good and..."
"Well, that little turd!"
She interrupted me, and that's all it took. Maybe it was her tone, but I knew, right then, that this wasn't about what Ryan gave me. It was about something he forgot to give me.
I hustled home, biked like the wind to get to him first. I found Ryan petting the dog, oblivious to the storm that was brewing a state away. I touched his shoulder and, in all seriousness, advised him to change his telephone number.
"That woman's ready to skin you over the cellular lines," I told him, adding, "And I know her. She'll find a way to do it."
Poor thing. He didn't know whether to pee or go blind. He's from Illinois. He had no way of knowing that he'd interfered with a tradition that extends back to my childhood and God knows how much further. If miscellaneous websites are to be believed, birthday nose buttering originated in Scotland. The grease made unlucky forces slide right past, insuring a good year. Today, it's popular in a number of places settled by that nation's fiery people, including the Appalachians, Newfoundland, and other parts of the eastern Canada.
So Ryan stepped in it good. Mama's on the war path, and now we're searching for a safe house where he can hide. If you've got one, please let me know. Also, if you come from a family of nose butterers, by all means, keep that tradition alive.
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Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Reggie B. Walton ruled against returning Blair Mountain to the National Register of Historic Places. The move would have protected the mountain from mining by Alpha Natural Resources and Arch Coal, which have received mining permits for the historic site.
As you may recall, Blair Mountain was the site of the largest civil uprising since the Civil War. Miners warred against mining companies for fair pay and basic rights in 1921.
According to Ken Ward Jr. at the Charleston Gazette, "the citizen groups could not meet one of the requirements to show 'standing' to bring the case, that of 'redressability,' or that a favorable ruling from the court would redress their injury."
Here is the judge's explanation:
It is likely, therefore, that surface mining would be permitted on the Blair Mountain Battlefield as a result of permits that were acquired prior to the historic district’s inclusion on the National Register. An order from this Court restoring the Blair Mountain Battlefield to the National Register, therefore, will not prevent mining from occurring should the coal mining companies who own existing permits choose to exercise their rights afforded by the permits. The Court having only a limited ability to redress the plaintiffs’ asserted injuries, the plaintiffs have failed to meet their burden under the final prong of the standing inquiry.A spokesman for the advocacy group Appalachian Voices, responded with this statement:
The real story is the relentless campaign by coal companies to undermine the national significance of Blair Mountain so they can blow it up to get at the coal. It’s simply stunning that they would even consider demolishing the site of the largest battle on American soil since the Civil War and one of the most important historical landmarks for organized labor in the world. Can you imagine if a company sought to turn the Gettysburg battlefield into a massive landfill? Is nothing sacred to these big coal companies beyond next quarter’s profits?
Today’s court decision was based on a technicality and is not the last word on the fate of Blair Mountain. We call on the Obama Administration to use its full power to ensure that this national treasure is protected. Furthermore, we call on Alpha Natural Resources and Arch Coal to respect our cultural heritage and the memory of those who gave their lives to improve the conditions of working people by abandoning this outrageous effort to conduct mountaintop removal coal mining operations on Blair Mountain.
Something's in the air in DC, and it smells a lot like coal dust to me. Last week, Jay Rockefeller called on coal companies to stop using scare tactics and denying the inevitable energy changes. Now I'm learning that, just before the Senator's speech, one coal county sent a big, sooty cloud toward Washington. This one, though, was directed at The White House.
In the May Democratic primary, Mingo County, West Virginia gave 61 percent of the vote to Keith Judd, a convicted felon. Now mind you, Judd isn't the kind of felon who paid his debt to society and is trying to make things right. He is serving time right now in a Texas prison for a fraud conviction. Somehow he managed to get himself on the West Virginia ballot and beat the President of the United States.
I heard about this unlikely showdown while riding in the car today. I was listening to the below NPR piece from Noah Adams, who is no stranger to these parts. He wrote the 2001 book Far Appalachia: Following the New River North and has regularly covered the region.
Take a listen to the story, and please oh please tell me what you think. Does Mingo County represent WV on this, or is it the outlier? What do you make of the locals interviewed in this piece? And is coal the new black, cause it sure seems to be getting a lot of attention?
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